You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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