I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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