I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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