...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
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youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
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I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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