I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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