That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
