so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
