Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
