you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize
