I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
