Welp...herpes.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
