i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
we're making bets on your personal life
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.