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• (424): View more from California

  I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed

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• (713): View more from Texas

  I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.

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  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  im here for your entertainment

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"

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• (604): View more from British Columbia

  He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.

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• 

  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (+61): View more from Australia

  Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan

  (712): View more from Iowa

  the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?

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• (914): View more from New York

  The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now

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• (210): View more from Texas

  he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?

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• (323): View more from California

  I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time

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