How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry