I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.