he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
