I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize