I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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