She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
well most of my day revolves around power hour
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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