I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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