Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize