She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
