we should wear snuggies to the strip club
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Im just a social blackout drinker.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
