I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
