On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
