Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
