You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FOUND THE LEGS
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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