She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
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Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
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i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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