i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
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Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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