I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Randomize
