Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
