She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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