she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
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