my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize