i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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