thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
