you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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