Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
