We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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