This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
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