Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
