marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
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