I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Randomize
