I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
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I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
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I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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