Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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