it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
