You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
