The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
