Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
pray to the hookup gods
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
