his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
