Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
