Im at strip club and am horny
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.