try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
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Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
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There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar