If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Randomize
