he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
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So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
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I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize