Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
