Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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