We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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