this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
