yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
