So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize