He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
