You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
