can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
