I showed him my bush... on skype.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
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