I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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