Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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