I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
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