Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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