bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
