3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
