I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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