did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
