"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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